I Am Unworthy

Penned by: Erlinda Mejia Olson
on Saturday, 1st of September 2012 at 11:14AMCDST
Posted on Sunday, 12th of  June 2022 at 6:33AMCDST

GALATIANS 6:14 ~ "But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

My heart is always heavy every time I come before in the presence of a Holy God.  Because, I am unworthy.  Unworthy of all His goodness.  Unworthy of His death on the Cross. Unworthy of serving Him—in writing and sharing every journal to every soul out there.  Unworthy of reaching out the familiar and unfamiliar territories.

Such "things in life" that bolted my heart in pride, I have then truly despised.  My sins have brought me into a dark, empty deep hole because I took my eyes off of my Savior.  My soul is crying out, "Enough is enough!  No more of the devil’s lie!  No more of the flesh that would eat me alive! No more of the dark, empty deep hole!"   I say, "No more!"

💓My Life Is An Offering💓

I grieved for my unworthiness.

Yes, my Friend, I am unworthy.  Unworthy to even speak with you through this journal.  Unworthy to even share with you this life’s journey because there is nothing worth talking about that I should boast except in the Cross of my LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ.

My life is filthy apart from the LORD, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23).

I am not ashamed to admit that I had been guilty of being a hypocrite myself. There were many times when I failed to practice what I have written and said, when I should. I have struggled greatly in this area of my Christian journey. I have asked the LORD to search my heart. To reveal to me the hypocritical areas of my life, particularly in my "spiritual life" for from it springs all the issues of life. I cannot worship and serve the LORD by wearing a mask. I cannot propel based on my own self-righteousness, but only by the righteousness I have in Jesus Christ. I just cannot live my faith for men's applause or the approval of others. Should I be rejected by the society all because of my LORD Jesus Christ, so be it. I can only imagine my LORD saying, "Welcome to the rejected club, My child. I know, and can relate to exactly how you feel." with a big smile on His merciful face.  I plea to the LORD that He would cultivate in my heart a desire to live a spiritual life that is both consistent in public and private life.  That I would become more spiritually zealous for Him whether people will see me or not. That I don't need to please anyone, but the LORD—who sees and knows every single thing that I think, say, or do. It would not matter anymore if someone cares for this journal or not, but the LORD—It is He whom I revere with all my heart, my soul, my mind, my strength. It is He whom I am serving. It is He whom I am seeking to please and no other.

I am unlovely but the Lord Jesus is altogether lovely.

He is the One worthy. The Only One worthy of praise and honor!

Not I.  Not Me.  Not myself.  I am unworthy.

The Lord, whose name is Holy (Leviticus 11:44-45; Isaiah 43:3; Ezekiel 36:21; Hosea 11:9; 1 Peter 1:15-16), He is worthy!

I take no merits of whatsoever to elate myself above others, except the fruit of humility and spiritual growth that comes from knowing the LORD through His Word.  That keeps my feet on the ground.  The LORD may choose to use a worm like me as He pleases because He is God and I am not.

I am a much greater sinner than any souls out there.  I am unworthy.

And yet in my unworthiness.  In my filthiness.  Christ loved me and died for me (Galatians 2:20).  Such truth melted my heart of stone and tore down the walls of pride in my sick heart.  Christ placed His worthiness into my unworthy soul simply because He loved me.  I am His — now and the life to come.

I am unworthy.

Yes.

But, the LORD Jesus said:

"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins." (Isaiah 43:25)

"I have blotted out, like a thick cloud, your transgressions, And like a cloud, your sins. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you." (Isaiah 44:22)

"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

Therefore, I abide in the LORD and serve Him in Truth no matter what the cost, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."(Philippians 1:21). "I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live." (Psalm 116:1-2).  "We love Him because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19).

I am a great sinner, but Christ is the Great Savior!  To my Heavenly Father be all the glory in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Personal Savior!

So I ask you my Friend, is Jesus Christ the Lord and Personal Savior of your life—now and the life to come?  Is He your Great Savior? If not, I hope you make Him so.💓💓💓

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

 "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." (John8:36)