How To Handle Criticism

Penned By: Erlinda Mejia Olson
On Friday, July 29th, 2016 at 20:00pmCDT
Posted on Friday, April 5th, 2019 at 3:10amCDT

PROVERBS 14:29 ~ "He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, But he who is impulsive exalts folly."

PROVERBS 15:18 ~ "A wrathful man stirs up strife, But he who is slow to anger allays contention."

JAMES 1:19 ~ "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;"

I have penned these words to someone who has been spoken against, mocked, maligned, railed on, belittled, and hurt. You may think these words don't apply to you, be patient because if you live a fully dedicated life unto God, the time will come when you will be criticized. "Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." (2 Timothy 3:12). "For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps" (1 Peter 2:21). Part of the pain of being spoken against is not knowing why. I shall not pretend to have all the answers, but let me share some wisdom and Scriptures that taught me how to be wise when being criticized. I hope you will be comforted as I have been comforted.

1. First thing, don't jump to conclusions.

As the saying goes, "what you see is not always what it seems." Therefore, what you may have heard may not be so as well. It has also been said that, "the first thing sacrificed in rumors is the truth". Many times I have had meetings for appeasement, and only to discover half-truths or complete untruths have been circulated that hurt. It would be a wise thing to do to go straight to the supposed source of the problem. The Bible says, "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." (Matthew 18:15). Therefore, before you wail your heart out in anger, throw a fit, or do something unwise—first validate the truth.

2. Give thanks because a blessing is entitled to those who are criticized.

I know this comes uneasy, but the LORD Jesus said, "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake." (Matthew 5:11).  Have you noticed that Jesus thinks differently from the world? In many cases He would have us respond just the opposite of the man's instinctive inclinations. So, set your heart with an attitude that reflects gratitude when you are criticized. "In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:18). This will immediately lift the spirit of the oppression and worry that has a tendency to accompany the blitz of unkind words. Learn to exchange the bad words spoken about you for the good words of praise! "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad." (Proverbs 12:25). "Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matthew 5:12).

3. Be compassionate to your critics.

Never seek vengeance.  Resolve in your heart that you will not fight this kind of fire with fire.  In the manner of revenge for wrongdoing, it only makes a brush fire rage into an uncontrollable forest fire. "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell." (James 3:6).  If you decide to throw mud back on someone who threw mud on you, you become muddy yourself.  He who throws mud loses ground!  Never forget that. Hold on to your ground of peace! "Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9).  Not only do we become soiled in the process of  revenge, but if we take matters into our own hands, we take something that belongs exclusively to God, for He says, "Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; Their foot shall slip in due time; For the day of their calamity is at hand, And the things to come hasten upon them." (Deuteronomy 32:35).  "O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongs—O God, to whom vengeance belongs, shine forth!" (Psalm 94:1). Along with these Old Testament Admonitions, God specifically said in the New Testament, "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord." (Romans 12:19).  In remaining quiet we are also exercising trust in the Lord to take care of the matters. And He can take care of them so much better than we. Our role is to bless and leave the rest in God's hand. The LORD Jesus said, "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you," (Matthew 5:44).  The Apostle Paul said,  "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." (Romans 12:14).

4. Discern that criticism means you are on the winning side.

Dr. Curtis Hutson was being criticized by people he thought were his friends.  He had to confide with his old mentor, Dr. B.R. Lakin who said in paraphrase: "Curtis, if they are kicking at you from behind, it is only because you are out in front of them."  This is so true!  If you know nothing, say nothing and do nothing, nothing happens to you.  If you know something, say something, and do something, all the "know-nothings" will start saying something to bring you down. "Rotting" in the world of living organisms is the process of going bad.  "When people go bad,"  they say and do bad things,  "A sound heart is life to the body, But envy is rottenness to the bones." (Proverbs 14:30).

5. Immediately forgive your critics and move on.

As I have shared with you on my previous journal on Forgiveness, "be quick to forgive."  Don't let the sun go down without clearing out the air.  Forgiveness is essential for healing, so you can move on without any excess baggages of resentments building up. "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32).

Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

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Father in Heaven, what a privilege to be able to completely forgive as I have been completely forgiven by You through Your Son Jesus Christ. I come broken before You. Thank You, for giving me the strength to partake on Your sufferings for Your name sake. Thank You, for modeling before me what it's like to exercise Your meekness before my critics. I am so blessed by Your examples. I beseech You to pour out more of Your blessings, protection, and guidance to everything that You have called me to do. I am willing. Here I am, Heavenly Father, I beseech You in the name of Your only begotten Son, my Lord and Personal Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Song:

LORD, TAKE THE FIRST PLACE

Penned By: Barney E. Warren, 1925

I yield to Thee, Savior, forsaking my all,

From sinful things now I will part;
To Thee I surrender, for mercy I call,
Come, take the first place in my heart.

Refrain:

Oh, take the first place in my heart,
Oh, take the first place in my heart;
I open the door, come in, I implore;
Lord, take the first place in my heart.

Oh, come, gentle Spirit, don’t leave me, I pray,

From Thee I will never depart;
I come to Thee now, for I cannot delay,
Lord, take the first place in my heart.

I cannot be lost, Lord, for Thee I will live,

Forgiveness, O Savior, impart;
If I will confess, Thou wilt freely forgive,
And take the first place in my heart.

The joybells of heaven will ring in my soul,

My Savior, Redeemer, Thou art;
To Thee I surrender, wilt Thou make me whole?
Take now the first place in my heart.